CEO Syndrome - Chapter 1
Every time I go for a job interview, the company’s HR tells me there’s something wrong with me.
But honestly, I don’t see it.
After being mysteriously fired four times in a row, I’m now at my fifth company.
The moment I walk in, I head straight for the executive lounge.
A man with gold-rimmed glasses is sitting there. Probably HR.
He looks up, startled.
I march over, plop myself down on the plush sofa, and frown. “Where’s my tea?”
“Uh...right away, ma’am”
The maybe-HR guy jumps up like he’s been electrocuted and scurries out.
I look around the lounge. Nice. Much fancier than the last dump I interviewed at.
Soon, tea arrives.
And with the tea comes the president of the company.
“Hello, I’m the CEO of Rising Dragon Group, Lin Wen,” he says, all polite and proper.
This Lin Wen guy is ridiculously good-looking. Tall, sharp suit, the whole package.
Lin Wen? I nod, then wave him off. “Don’t just stand there. Go slice up some fruit for me.”
Lin Wen freezes.
Then, after a moment, he actually gets up and walks out to get me a fruit plate.
Obedient boss. I like it. Wonder how the benefits are here.
I cross my legs, take a sip of tea.
Hmm.... Not bad. Tieguanyin, I think.
A few minutes later, Lin Wen comes back with a fruit plate.
He sets it down in front of me.
Ooh, mangosteen...my favorite.
“Ahem...” Lin Wen sits across from me. “May I ask your name?”
Su Nianci,” I say, putting down my teacup and giving him a once-over. “Just call me Xiao Su.”
“Xiao Su?” Lin Wen blinks, then quickly waves his hands. “No, no, no, I’ll call you President Su.”
“So, President Su, what’s your vision for our company’s future?”
Vision? I’m a bit lost.
I glance at Lin Wen’s anxious face, and it clicks.
Big company, big questions. He’s basically asking: If you were the boss, how would you run things?
I narrow my eyes. Not bad, Lin Wen. Not bad at all.
So I clear my throat and point at my teacup. “Lin, this Tieguanyin is getting cold.”
Being a boss is easy. Rule number one: Deflect.
“Uh...” Lin Wen hesitates. “This is actually Da Hong Pao.”
Me: ... ...
“Lin,” I say sternly, “this is exactly what I dislike about you. If I say it’s Tieguanyin, then it’s Tieguanyin. Got it?”
How dare he contradict the boss?
Lin Wen straightens up immediately. “Understood, President Su. I’ll have my assistant bring you a fresh cup right away.”
He calls outside.
Turns out, the “HR” guy is actually his assistant.
I stab a piece of mangosteen and pop it in my mouth. “Double it.”
“This company’s a bit small. Only twelve floors? At least eighteen, don’t you think?”
“And I think we should partner up with Chen Group. Expand our business. Oh, and double everyone’s salary. Starting with me.”
Lin Wen looks completely stunned.
I grin. Boss move number two: Paint a big, fat, impossible dream.
Who can’t spin a good yarn?
“So, how much are you planning to invest?” Lin Wen rubs his hands together.
Invest?
I think for a second. “At least half a billion yuan.”
Lin Wen’s eyes light up.
Just then, there’s a knock. The assistant comes in.
“President Lin...” He glances at me, lowers his voice, “There’s someone here from Phoenix Crane Group.”
Lin Wen freezes.
“If he’s from Chen Group, then this President Su must be...”
I sip my tea calmly.
“I’m here for the job interview.”
Lin Wen: ... ...
You could see the vein throbbing on Lin Wen’s forehead.
He clenches his fists, staring at me. “You’re here for an interview?”
“Yep.” I nod.
Lin Wen’s chest heaves with rage. “President, president, calm down” the assistant whispers, trying to soothe him.
“You...” Lin Wen grits his teeth, pointing at me, “Why didn’t you say so earlier?”
I look confused. “Didn’t I?”
The assistant shakes his head.
“Oh.” I nod. “Well, now you know.”
Lin Wen takes a deep breath, glares at me. “Wait here.”
He storms out.
I call after him, “Hey, my tea’s getting cold. Bring me a new cup.”
Slam.
Door shuts.
So rude.
Every time I go for a job interview, the company’s HR tells me there’s something wrong with me.
But honestly, I don’t see it.
After being mysteriously fired four times in a row, I’m now at my fifth company.
The moment I walk in, I head straight for the executive lounge.
A man with gold-rimmed glasses is sitting there. Probably HR.
He looks up, startled.
I march over, plop myself down on the plush sofa, and frown. “Where’s my tea?”
“Uh...right away, ma’am”
The maybe-HR guy jumps up like he’s been electrocuted and scurries out.
I look around the lounge. Nice. Much fancier than the last dump I interviewed at.
Soon, tea arrives.
And with the tea comes the president of the company.
“Hello, I’m the CEO of Rising Dragon Group, Lin Wen,” he says, all polite and proper.
This Lin Wen guy is ridiculously good-looking. Tall, sharp suit, the whole package.
Lin Wen? I nod, then wave him off. “Don’t just stand there. Go slice up some fruit for me.”
Lin Wen freezes.
Then, after a moment, he actually gets up and walks out to get me a fruit plate.
Obedient boss. I like it. Wonder how the benefits are here.
I cross my legs, take a sip of tea.
Hmm.... Not bad. Tieguanyin, I think.
A few minutes later, Lin Wen comes back with a fruit plate.
He sets it down in front of me.
Ooh, mangosteen...my favorite.
“Ahem...” Lin Wen sits across from me. “May I ask your name?”
Su Nianci,” I say, putting down my teacup and giving him a once-over. “Just call me Xiao Su.”
“Xiao Su?” Lin Wen blinks, then quickly waves his hands. “No, no, no, I’ll call you President Su.”
“So, President Su, what’s your vision for our company’s future?”
Vision? I’m a bit lost.
I glance at Lin Wen’s anxious face, and it clicks.
Big company, big questions. He’s basically asking: If you were the boss, how would you run things?
I narrow my eyes. Not bad, Lin Wen. Not bad at all.
So I clear my throat and point at my teacup. “Lin, this Tieguanyin is getting cold.”
Being a boss is easy. Rule number one: Deflect.
“Uh...” Lin Wen hesitates. “This is actually Da Hong Pao.”
Me: ... ...
“Lin,” I say sternly, “this is exactly what I dislike about you. If I say it’s Tieguanyin, then it’s Tieguanyin. Got it?”
How dare he contradict the boss?
Lin Wen straightens up immediately. “Understood, President Su. I’ll have my assistant bring you a fresh cup right away.”
He calls outside.
Turns out, the “HR” guy is actually his assistant.
I stab a piece of mangosteen and pop it in my mouth. “Double it.”
“This company’s a bit small. Only twelve floors? At least eighteen, don’t you think?”
“And I think we should partner up with Chen Group. Expand our business. Oh, and double everyone’s salary. Starting with me.”
Lin Wen looks completely stunned.
I grin. Boss move number two: Paint a big, fat, impossible dream.
Who can’t spin a good yarn?
“So, how much are you planning to invest?” Lin Wen rubs his hands together.
Invest?
I think for a second. “At least half a billion yuan.”
Lin Wen’s eyes light up.
Just then, there’s a knock. The assistant comes in.
“President Lin...” He glances at me, lowers his voice, “There’s someone here from Phoenix Crane Group.”
Lin Wen freezes.
“If he’s from Chen Group, then this President Su must be...”
I sip my tea calmly.
“I’m here for the job interview.”
Lin Wen: ... ...
You could see the vein throbbing on Lin Wen’s forehead.
He clenches his fists, staring at me. “You’re here for an interview?”
“Yep.” I nod.
Lin Wen’s chest heaves with rage. “President, president, calm down” the assistant whispers, trying to soothe him.
“You...” Lin Wen grits his teeth, pointing at me, “Why didn’t you say so earlier?”
I look confused. “Didn’t I?”
The assistant shakes his head.
“Oh.” I nod. “Well, now you know.”
Lin Wen takes a deep breath, glares at me. “Wait here.”
He storms out.
I call after him, “Hey, my tea’s getting cold. Bring me a new cup.”
Slam.
Door shuts.
So rude.
Every time I go for a job interview, the company’s HR tells me there’s something wrong with me.
Comments
Post a Comment